Satikāmies, iemīlējāmies un nolēmām nevilcināties ar kāzām, jo es uzreiz paliku stāvoklī. Viss notika tik ātri, ka mēs ar Antonu nemaz nepaguvām kārtīgāk ieskatīties viens otrā. Taču man toreiz tas it nemaz nebija svarīgi, es viņu neprātīgi mīlēju.
Mana ģimenes dzīve ir sākusies 18 gadu vecumā. Tad piedzima mūsu mazā princesīte, kas bija ļoti līdzīga savam tēvam. Es biju septītajās debesīs aiz laimes, taču viņš vienmēr bija ar kaut ko neapmierināts. Katru dienu viņš bijis piekasīgs, pilnīgi bez iemesla, vienmēr meklējis iemeslu strīdam. Es nemaz nevainoju viņu, mēs abi esam vainīgi… Attiecības starp mums kļuva ļoti saspringtas, ar katru dienu palika arvien trakāk.
„Esmu vienīgais pelnītājs, bet tu esi liekēde! Ubadze.., ” tā viņš kliedza man kārtējā strīda laikā… bet es vienkārši sēdēju un slaucīju asaras, ko nevarēju valdīt…
Meitiņai vēl nav bijis pat gadiņš, es nemaz nespēju saprast, kā lai rīkojos, ko lai daru? Es nevarēju atgriezties darbā, ja bērnudārzā mūs varēja uzņemt vien 2 gadu vecumā un nemaz nebija kam atstāt mazo Karīnīti pieskatīšanai.
Antons pārmeta man katru sevis nopelnīto eiro. Lai gan es nemaz neesmu to naudu turējusi rokās, viņš pats par visu lēma. Viņa dusmu pamatā bija tas, ka viņam pietrūka ar to, ko pats spējis nopelnīt.
Pats smieklīgākais, ka viņa alga ir bijusi zemāka par iztikas minimumu, bet viņš bija sagrābies tik daudz kredītu, it kā pelnījis miljonus. Nopircis jaunu dārgu mašīnu kredītā, lai gan tā nemaz nebija vajadzīga. Bet tagad, kad viņam trūka naudas pat maizei, es pie tā biju vainīga…
Turpinājumu lasiet nākošajā lapā
Es vairs nebiju spējīga paciest Antona pārmetumus, izvilku savu teicamnieces diplomu un iestājos Juridiskajā Akadēmijā par juristi. Mācījos bezmaksas, jo tiku budžetā. Taču lai braukātu uz mācībām un uzturētu meitu man bija vajadzīga nauda. Biju stingri izlēmusi, ka Antona graši man nav vajadzīgi, it īpaši, ka līdz manis tie nemaz nekad arī nenonāca, taču neapmierinātības bija vairāk, nekā vajag.
Biju atradusi sev visērtāko darbavietu, joprojām uzskatu, ka man toreiz bija ļoti paveicies. Vajadzēja pieskatīt pensionāri no blakus mājas un uzkopt viņas dzīvokli. Ņinas tante vienmēr labi maksājusi un ļāvusi arī meitiņu ņemt līdzi. Kamēr es biju strādājusi, viņas abas ļoti jautri pavadīja laiku divatā. Es joprojām esmu pateicīga šai sievietei par viņas labsirdību.
Kad mācījos jau trešajā kursā, man izdevās tikt darbā par palīgu juridiskajā firmā. Sāku abi pelnīt. Bet, kad pienāca laiks saņemt diplomu, es jau biju strādājusi par juristi. Antonam gan nepatika, ka es ieguvu izglītību un paliku neatkarīga no viņa. Tagad tas kļuvis par iemeslu kārtējiem strīdiem.
Lasi vēl: Izrakstīšanās no dzemdību nodaļas: Kā tēvam pareizi sagaidīt māmiņu ar bērnu mājās
„Kas tad nu, kļuvi patstāvīga? Kam tad tu esi vajadzīga? Nemaz nesāc te iedomāties no sevis sazin ko, savādāk es ātri to visu izlabošu, pati vairs nebūsi priecīga! Nemaz nedomā, ka kāds tevi paņems, turklāt ar mazu bērnu! ”
Es godīgi centos glābt mūsu laulību aiz mīlestības pret Antonu, taču viņš izrādījies no tās cilvēku sugas, kam nekad nekas nav pa prātam un aiz bezizejas viņš pazemo cilvēkus, kuri viņu patiesi mīl.
Nevarēju saprast, kā lai izdabā šādam cilvēkam, un reiz, neizturējusi, pateicu:
„Viss! Es iesniedzu šķiršanas dokumentus! Par mums ar Karini nevajag pārdzīvot,labāk pārdzīvo par sevi… lai esi vismaz kādam vajadzīgs…”
Sakravājot mantas, es izsaucu taksometru un mēs aizbraucām… uz nekurieni… praktiski neko nepaņemot līdzi. Pa ceļam es centos valdīt savas asaras, lai meitiņa neierauga. Piezvanīju Marinai, ar kuru kopā bijām mācījušas un palūdzu pārlaist nakti pie viņas. Nākamajā dienā mēs ar Karini aizbraucām uz tuvējo pilsētu, tur es noīrēju dzīvokli, iekārtoju meitiņu bērnudārzā un devos darba meklējumos. Jau nākamajā dienā es ķeros klāt galvenā jurista pienākumiem. Par algu, kādu man maksāja, es varēju vien sapņot.
Tā pagāja gads. Nesen es atvēru savu personīgo juridisko pakalpojumu biroju. Esmu pateicīga savam prātam un izturībai par to, kur es tagad dzīvoju, cik pelnu. Un meitiņas dēļ es spēšu sasniegt vēl augstākas virsotnes.
Antons ir aizrāvies ar alkoholu, par mums ar Karīnu viņš ne reizi nav atcerējies. Varbūt, ka tā pat ir labāk.
Avots:
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